Toddlers... terrible 2’s... it creeps up on you outta no where ... one minute they are all sweet and innocent ... and then tada, they suddenly become this horrendous little shit that some days you just can’t deal with 😂
Blake is only soon to be 2 and it’s already driving me up the wall! ...
He moan's about everything ... and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G ...
- He asks for crisps, I give zed crisps and he doesn’t want them that two seconds later... oh no he wants chocolate! and he wants it NOW!
- The toy he wants, is right next to him, but “it’s wayyyyy to far away mummy I can’t get it”...
- You wanted the blue crayon not the pink one, oh sweetie have the whole bloody pack...why not!!! 😱
Nothing you say or do can contain this little terror that is your child... now I know what your thinking... they are two not terrible ... but hey... let’s face it, no child can be perfect, and some times you just have to be honest - they are turds sometimes!!
A prime example of this awful transitions, is when your child decides they are independent enough to walk everywhere by themselves... I was walking round town with Blake recently, when the time came... and he knew what was coming!... that is when the art of multitasking you thought you could do, and knew well, becomes a mission.
The mission which defines whether you have a successful shopping trip or a fuck it let’s go home kinda feeling...
Whilst it took me ten minutes alone too chase him round in circles. I finally catch him, which you would think would be the end of the story right?.. oh no.. he then flaps in my arms, sideways, exactly like a fish, and screams at the top of his voice... ‘okay no no NO!’ (As if I am killing the poor boy). I manage to get my shopping in the back of the pushchair, whilst simultaneously placing one knee firmly on his body, not to hurt him, just too keep his bloody arse in place, and so he doesn’t pop back out of the straps I just managed to put round his arms... I hold his hands away from the straps and keep trying to put that... bloody... clip ... together that just doesn’t ... want to...THERE! 😅 ( They should really make those straps instant click or something, damn that shit is hard work! Its like an arm workout!)
Whilst it’s delightfully hilarious or even seen as evil to some people who have not seen a toddler meltdown before... I take the biggest sigh of relief now that’s all bloody over, stand up and wipe the little bit of sweat off my brow away (lovely :/) , and pat myself on the back for managing to get him in his god damn push chair... (this was after twenty minutes of non stop screaming and full on wrestling) ...
When becoming a parent, there is always the unnecessary amounts of advice and judgement given from every tom, dick and Harry!... Janet down the road... yeeeah she has no kids but “oh my goodness, shouldn’t he be able to be an independent child and be free”, or the famous mum phrase “well my kids wouldn’t do that....” okay Stacey cause your kids don’t throw tantrums no?
... as Blake continues to scream, determined he will get out of his pushchair, and the tutting I received from the old couple I walk past as if i have done something wrong ... I then decide ... fuck it let’s go home!
And that my friends practically sums up the entirety of a toddler transition from toddler to terrible ... 😂😂
